So I have a confession/deep thoughts that have been plaguing me for quite some time, but more this last week. I really believe it is a problem for a lot, if not most women, the need to vent/talk through problems, etc. But the issue I have is how much to share? When to share? When not to share? I don’t want to gossip. Gossip is evil and can be so damaging and hurtful and so deceitful. It can sometimes seem that before you even know it, you are involved in it.
I have had a few instances this summer (all completely not related) and one a complete brain-fart of a situation. As in brain-fart, I mean that I had shared a piece of information and it wasn’t until ML and I were in bed that night and I remembered that the friend didn’t want that piece of information shared yet. It was truly an honest mistake, not done out of harm or malice. It honestly, completely slipped my mind. (Luckily it was something that wasn’t earth shattering and my friend accepted my apology and I had done no damage.)
***So what did I learn: I really need to think before I speak and remember important pieces to conversations.
Secondly, is the need to vent, clear your head of all the thoughts swarming around. Who do you vent to? Who can you trust? Should we learn to not vent and find a way to just deal with things so that we don’t risk the chance of gossiping? Do we find someone completely removed from the situation that knows none of the people that can be a source of advice to talk to? I DON’T KNOW!!!
I do know what the Bible says about gossip:
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).
It just confuses me, not the bible, the being able to speak and get advice without sharing to much and to whom to share to. I know that I am not sharing information to harm or build myself up, I just need someone to talk to, to help me through the situation.
***So what have I learned…I’m still confused, but I'll be ok. I’d like to say that I am just not going to talk to anyone anymore. But I doubt that will be very realistic. I have such a heart to be true and honest to everyone and not hurt anyone. So at this point what do I do??? Continue talking and praying to God asking for clarity and guidance and direction. Follow God's word to best of my ability on what it teaches about gossip. And when I mess up, confess it, ask for forgiveness and continue on with becoming more like Jesus. And also, think before I speak and choose my words carefully.
I think we all need to be reminded of this from time to time, we are not perfect, I am not perfect. I am just thankful for God's grace and mercy for when I do mess up.
1 comment:
I think venting is totally healthy and a great way to get things off your chest and get a clear prespective. In my case, especially when I am angry or have hurt feelings. I know that from personal experiancce I feel much better after talking witha friend. I think I may be one that says too much, but also never with the intent to hurt someones feelings, but just to share with someone my feelings. Even if its just to let it out; sometimes even with out the intent to get advice. Gossip is a naughty thing, but sometimes it does happen even though you may not realize what you are doing at the time is gossping. As women I think we like to share and bounce thoughts and ideas off our friends and that is just a natural part of being a woman. I know I am always thankful to have my two close friends to share my thoughts good or bad with and I am always so thankful they are there to listen and share their thoughts with me about what ever the topic is.
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