New Chapter

To think that my little A. is my last baby from God (well, at least for my knowledge right now). It is exciting, frightening, and saddening all together.  I have been reflecting lately as to where I have been as a mommy and where I am going as one.

I love my girls so incredibly much (in fact, I really always wanted a fourth) and truly believe I know the reason why the Lord chose to bless me with all girls (that is for another blog, on another day).  But it became a decision for us based on medical reasons and how bad my pregnancies were getting and affecting my Fibro that we stop at 3.  (The Lord knows and if He ever chooses to bless us with another one, in a different way we are completely open.)

On a night that I have found out that we have just lost a family member to cancer, I am easily brought to tears to think that I no longer have a "baby" in my life.  Life seems to be changing sometimes way to fast and there are times I just wish I could freeze time for a bit just so that it can last just a little longer.  One stage of my life is over and a new one is starting.  I cherish the moments of nursing all 3 of my girls, rocking them to sleep, having them fall asleep on my chest, listening to their tiny breathing.  I just pray that I can remember these sweet, small moments when they are in their teen years.  

With A. being the last, I know I am hanging on a little longer, giving in a little more, and relishing her as my "baby" a little longer.  She was such a great last baby, and I completely believe that God gives them to you in the order you need them.  Even though she is completely attached to me and at times it is annoying and tiring, it feels great to still be needed.  I will soon have a 3 year old and it seems as some how that is the magic number as to when they grow from a baby into a little girl. 

I thank God for the opportunity to be a mommy to 3 girls and know that as they get older my job just gets harder.  I am already praying for the strength and courage to be a great role model and mom to my girls.  So as the mourning of this stage of life ends, I just hope that I can fulfill my job as a mom to the best of my God-given ability.

Diaper Free!!!

We are officially DIAPER FREE!  My little A. has a bladder of steel like my other two and doesn't even need them at night.  Out of 3 girls, I have never had a wet bed (which is completely awesome). 

It feels so amazing, we don't have to spend another penny on diapers, but is also a little saddening.  Of course, buying diapers is always a special time in your life.  It brings new challenges and beautiful, unbelievable moments. It is a time that sometimes seems to go so fast and is so easy to forget.  Life is changing for me as a mommy, and I am excited to start this new chapter and to not have to buy any more diapers!!! 

Biker Girls!

I always felt guilty that we didn't have our 8 year old learn to ride her bike without training wheels earlier.  But in the end, it has all worked out.  Eventually (when she was 7) E. just got on a bike without training wheels and never looked back.  Then G. about 3 months ago (she is only 5), got on a bike without training wheels, and never looked back.  It is amazing that if you just wait until they feel ready how nice things turn out (now of course there are times you need to force them a little).  They knew when they were ready and just went with it.  There was no crying, no whining, just pure excitement that they had succeeded. 

Now as for our little A., one day she didn't know how to push the peddles to me walking out and her full-on riding a big girl tricycle.  And about a week later, she was riding down the street on a bike with training wheels.  I think she is absolutely thrilled that she can ride a bike like her sisters and bet it will be no time before she is riding without training wheels.

Oh, how fast they grow up. 

Fibro Friday: Blank

Would you all like to know the real reason as to why I haven't been blogging lately??? (Well, one of the reasons.)  Memory...or lack of it.  I think of a really cute post or something funny to write and then I forget.  By the time I make it to my computer, the thoughts are gone.  

As an example, I was just writing a post for another day.  In the middle of writing it, another post came to mind and now it's GONE!!!!  Why didn't I write it down???  I cannot remember what I wanted to write about next (hence, prompting this post)

One night, I wrote the cutest poem (well, at least I thought it was cute) about my little A. and the joys of having a toddler who only wants mommy.  I was way to tired to get up and write it down at that moment, and now I am sorry about that.  I went over it several times in my head so that in the morning I could remember it and guess what...GONE! 

It is so stinkin' fustrating to have these great thoughts and the next instant they are gone.  That is part of the Fibro Fog.  I have learned to live with it and some days are better than others, but it makes me feel like I am becoming senile.  It is an aspect of FM that not a lot of people understand.  I can be looking at a table and say "ok, it is square, has legs and chairs" but cannot remember the word "table."

So friends, please bare with me, I am not going crazy or weird, it's just my memory!

Senile:

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of old age.
2. Relating to or exhibiting memory loss or mental impairment associated with aging.
3. Geology. Worn away nearly to the base level, as at the end of an erosion cycle.

Lypoma

You have to love the non-medical discription of a Lypoma:  A benign fatty tumor.  As if I didn't already know that I had too much fat on my body, now I have a fatty tumor.  My fatty tumor was right on my waistline and was becoming more and more noticeable as I have lost weight.  I still have more weight to go and I could only imagine what it would end up looking like.  

So I had it removed.  They couldn't do it in the office so I had to go to a surgeon. I feel silly calling it a surgery, but they did cut me open and I was sedated.  My first surgery in 15 years.  I feel good about my record, ML can't even say that he hasn't had a surgery in over a year :).  Anyway healing is going good and I am excited to see what the incision looks like.

Chubby Tummy

My five year old walked up to me the other day and matter-of-factly says, as she pushes in on my stomach, "Yea, it's a little chubby!"  Gotta love the honesty of kids.