To think that my little A. is my last baby from God (well, at least for my knowledge right now). It is exciting, frightening, and saddening all together. I have been reflecting lately as to where I have been as a mommy and where I am going as one.
I love my girls so incredibly much (in fact, I really always wanted a fourth) and truly believe I know the reason why the Lord chose to bless me with all girls (that is for another blog, on another day). But it became a decision for us based on medical reasons and how bad my pregnancies were getting and affecting my Fibro that we stop at 3. (The Lord knows and if He ever chooses to bless us with another one, in a different way we are completely open.)
On a night that I have found out that we have just lost a family member to cancer, I am easily brought to tears to think that I no longer have a "baby" in my life. Life seems to be changing sometimes way to fast and there are times I just wish I could freeze time for a bit just so that it can last just a little longer. One stage of my life is over and a new one is starting. I cherish the moments of nursing all 3 of my girls, rocking them to sleep, having them fall asleep on my chest, listening to their tiny breathing. I just pray that I can remember these sweet, small moments when they are in their teen years.
With A. being the last, I know I am hanging on a little longer, giving in a little more, and relishing her as my "baby" a little longer. She was such a great last baby, and I completely believe that God gives them to you in the order you need them. Even though she is completely attached to me and at times it is annoying and tiring, it feels great to still be needed. I will soon have a 3 year old and it seems as some how that is the magic number as to when they grow from a baby into a little girl.
I thank God for the opportunity to be a mommy to 3 girls and know that as they get older my job just gets harder. I am already praying for the strength and courage to be a great role model and mom to my girls. So as the mourning of this stage of life ends, I just hope that I can fulfill my job as a mom to the best of my God-given ability.
I love my girls so incredibly much (in fact, I really always wanted a fourth) and truly believe I know the reason why the Lord chose to bless me with all girls (that is for another blog, on another day). But it became a decision for us based on medical reasons and how bad my pregnancies were getting and affecting my Fibro that we stop at 3. (The Lord knows and if He ever chooses to bless us with another one, in a different way we are completely open.)
On a night that I have found out that we have just lost a family member to cancer, I am easily brought to tears to think that I no longer have a "baby" in my life. Life seems to be changing sometimes way to fast and there are times I just wish I could freeze time for a bit just so that it can last just a little longer. One stage of my life is over and a new one is starting. I cherish the moments of nursing all 3 of my girls, rocking them to sleep, having them fall asleep on my chest, listening to their tiny breathing. I just pray that I can remember these sweet, small moments when they are in their teen years.
With A. being the last, I know I am hanging on a little longer, giving in a little more, and relishing her as my "baby" a little longer. She was such a great last baby, and I completely believe that God gives them to you in the order you need them. Even though she is completely attached to me and at times it is annoying and tiring, it feels great to still be needed. I will soon have a 3 year old and it seems as some how that is the magic number as to when they grow from a baby into a little girl.
I thank God for the opportunity to be a mommy to 3 girls and know that as they get older my job just gets harder. I am already praying for the strength and courage to be a great role model and mom to my girls. So as the mourning of this stage of life ends, I just hope that I can fulfill my job as a mom to the best of my God-given ability.
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