Mommy Confession: Matters of the Mouth

So I have a confession/deep thoughts that have been plaguing me for quite some time, but more this last week.  I really believe it is a problem for a lot, if not most women, the need to vent/talk through problems, etc.  But the issue I have is how much to share?  When to share?  When not to share?  I don’t want to gossip.  Gossip is evil and can be so damaging and hurtful and so deceitful.  It can sometimes seem that before you even know it, you are involved in it. 

I have had a few instances this summer (all completely not related) and one a complete brain-fart of a situation.  As in brain-fart, I mean that I had shared a piece of information and it wasn’t until ML and I were in bed that night and I remembered that the friend didn’t want that piece of information shared yet.  It was truly an honest mistake, not done out of harm or malice.  It honestly, completely slipped my mind.  (Luckily it was something that wasn’t earth shattering and my friend accepted my apology and I had done no damage.)

***So what did I learn:  I really need to think before I speak and remember important pieces to conversations. 

Secondly, is the need to vent, clear your head of all the thoughts swarming around.  Who do you vent to?  Who can you trust?  Should we learn to not vent and find a way to just deal with things so that we don’t risk the chance of gossiping?  Do we find someone completely removed from the situation that knows none of the people that can be a source of advice to talk to?  I DON’T KNOW!!!

I do know what the Bible says about gossip: 

“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).

 
It just confuses me, not the bible, the being able to speak and get advice without sharing to much and to whom to share to.  I know that I am not sharing information to harm or build myself up, I just need someone to talk to, to help me through the situation. 

***So what have I learned…I’m still confused, but I'll be ok.  I’d like to say that I am just not going to talk to anyone anymore.  But I doubt that will be very realistic.  I have such a heart to be true and honest to everyone and not hurt anyone.  So at this point what do I do??? Continue talking and praying to God asking for clarity and guidance and direction.  Follow God's word to best of my ability on what it teaches about gossip.  And when I mess up, confess it, ask for forgiveness and continue on with becoming more like Jesus.  And also, think before I speak and choose my words carefully. 

I think we all need to be reminded of this from time to time, we are not perfect, I am not perfect.  I am just thankful for God's grace and mercy for when I do mess up.

Flagstaff Fun!

This July we went and spent almost 3 weeks with my in-laws at their cabin in Munds Park.  We have spent about 8 days with them in the past and weren’t sure how 18 days would go.  But they were awesome.  We had tons of fun.  The older girls participated in a drama camp that ended with them doing a performance of Grease.

It was also awesome because it rained almost everyday we were there and reached about 79 degrees each day.  This was great for my Fibro and made it so hard to come home. 

 

We did our annual 4th of July Parade Celebration up there and added a breakfast this year.

 

The Girls got to go on their first ride in the forest in Rhino’s.  They absolutely loved it and loved riding in Poppy’s golf cart.  ML even taught Miss E. to drive the golf cart.

 

We just had fun playing and relaxing.

 

We all kept feeling the windows as we drove down the mountain not looking forward to the heat that was about to slap us in the face.  I think that staying in the cool pines for July should become our family tradition.

Kid Funny

This July the two older girls participated in a drama camp and production of Greese (more to come on that later).  Well one of the songs was of course the Hand Jive.  And Little A. has been going around the house since singing the song, loudly.  The only problem is that she changed the words.  So where there should be the word "plow" she inserted our last name "Clow."

"When I was three, I pushed a Clow"

Heat, Heat, Go Away

Heat, heat, please go away, your killing my energy and wiping me out. 

I love Arizona and really don't think I could stand the weather anywhere else.  And the heat this summer has actually been pretty mild, but with Fibro it really doesn't matter.  And it doesn't matter if you stay inside or out.  I am still wiped out.  Now when I say wiped, know one can really understand what that really means.  I mean I'm talking not being able to get out of bed until 9 or 10 every morning (being full blown asleep until this time).  Just having short bursts of energy to get things done, well basically having no energy to get anything done. 

I just have to thank the Lord that my girls have become so well adjusted to my illness.  They play, entertain, watch  tv, make their own breakfast, etc. all on their own.  I try to look at it positively and think that I am just raising independent daughters.

On the Outs!

I’m not the favorite, boo hoo hoo.  Little Miss A. has made it clear to me the last couple days by telling me that

“Daddy and Grandma are my favorite, but not you!”

And then she also told me that…

“Daddy and Grandma are IN and you are NOT!”

But do you think this has changed her wanting/needing me anymore????  That would be a big fat NO!!!  Good thing Miss A. is such a cute thing and I love her so much.

See Ya!

Well, I don’t wanna toot my own horn, but I just had to share some pictures with you.  I have been on a weight loss journey and I am over half way to my goal.  What surprised me the other day was when I saw a picture of myself back at Thanksgiving compared to a picture just taken at Miss A’s b-day party.  I was pretty SHOCKED!!!!!  I mean, like really shocked.  And then I got excited and wanted to share it with the whole world. 
The other thing that has really surprised me is this…not sure if you watch Biggest Loser, but at some point they always have them “put the weight back on”.  Some how they do a challenge where they put all of the weight they have lost back on.  Well, anyways, I have just about hit 40 lbs., (YES I said 40 LBS), and it hit me that I have lost my Miss A in weight.  I’ve lost an entire 4 year old in weight!!!  And to carry her (which is so terribly hard because of the FM anyways) seems so crazy to think that I was carrying that around on my own body and just didn’t seem to care.  But NOT ANYMORE!!!  I am down a 4 year old and depending upon where my goal weight will end (it’s so hard to know since my body has now had 3 children ).  I might to almost lose another 4 year old.  I am up for the challenge and won’t stop until I am done. 


Before


Middle

My Baby is 4!

Wow, has time flown by.  Felt like just yesterday she was a baby and I was still breastfeeding, lately she has had the attitude of a 2 year old so that hasn’t been helping.  I still have one more year home with my “little love” before the big K.  I hope to make it a meaningful and memorable one since she is the last of the babies. 

This year a pool party was in order (since we now have 3 community pools in our new neighborhood).  It was a fun day, well week of celebrating and she is happy that she is finally 4.  We love you Baby Girl, you bring so much joy and laughter to our lives we couldn’t imagine life without you.